I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
