Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
