I'm eating all of the evidence.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
