I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We need to rekindle our bromance
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
