How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
