sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
