U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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