I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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