saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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