we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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