Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
