Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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