Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
