Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
