I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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