careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
