But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
