are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
