WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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