My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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