tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize