I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
