You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
