It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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