i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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