awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
