this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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