Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
