I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
tell me about the eggs
Randomize