The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize