I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
