hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
