they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
