Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
it hurts more in the daytime
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
