i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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