I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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