i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
