i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
