In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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