It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
