i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Come share oat with me in your robe
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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