I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
