Best friends brother. Beat that.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
