Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
