Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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