well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Success! We fucked roommates!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
