That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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