oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
