Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
