i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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