Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
