I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you had me at cake vodka
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
