happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
