so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
