So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
