He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
