So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize