I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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