member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
