I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
