I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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