make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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