so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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