Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
