I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
