I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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