i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
