I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
